Opportunities present themselves to us and they often challenge us to take a risk. We are faced with the choice of saying No or Yes. No keeps us safe and Yes, well Yes puts us firmly into the land of the frightening unknown. I, like you, have faced this challenge many times. Bear with me while I tell you three of my encounters with opportunity:
#1. At the time, I wanted nothing more than a professional demo video tape for my keynote speeches, but the going rate was about $3,000. Then by happenstance, I met this guy named Kenny, who owns his own video production company. After knowing me for only a few hours Kenny generously said, "Hey Patrick, fly to Chicago and we'll make you a video for only the cost of the tape. It'll be cool - we don't need a script or anything. I'll just power on the camera and you do your thing. You'll be as cool as Henry Rollins." [Henry Rollins - a master of spoken word]. It was such a tempting opportunity, but I was truly scared to do it, for fear that I couldn't live up to Kenny's belief that I could be as good as Henry Rollins. Kenny was such a connoisseur of hip, and I was scared of him thinking less of me after he shot the video. It just didn't make sense to fly all the way to Chicago and shoot without rehearsal and script, so I passed on his offer.
Opportunity #2. Hard Copy called me. I'd recently completed my second successful interview with Hard Copy regarding my $95,000 junk mail check adventure. This time they were calling for a different reason. The show's executive producers liked my segments and wanted me to step up to a guest reporter role, with my first assignment to go undercover with a hidden camera in the Mall of America. My heart raced at the opportunity. It seemed like the chance of a lifetime. But I was scared I couldn't live up to the executive producers expectations. They believed in me based on my interviews about the $95,000 adventure, but that was an easy story to tell. This would be a completely different experience and I had doubts about my ability to make something funny happen with a hidden camera in a mall. I had no professional training whatsoever. I felt extra pressure knowing there would be a three person crew watching and thousands of dollars being invested. I just felt like everyone's expectations of what I could do were too high because the check story had been so entertaining. I figured it would be bad to fail in front of the producers of a #1 hit show, so I passed on the offer, saying I just wasn't ready.
Opportunity #3. A corporation found my stuff on the web and called me. After speaking on the phone for five minutes they offered me the opportunity to do the keynote at their annual sales meeting. They wanted me to motivate their sales force and they were willing to pay me $5,000 plus expenses - twice as much as I earn on the college circuit. I couldn't believe they wer giving me the chance - I'd never spoken at a corporation before! I really loved the thought of being their keynote speaker, but I wasn't ready. Not only hadn't I spoken for a company before, but I'd also never developed a motivational sales talk. I was planning on doing those things, but not for another year or so. As much as I wanted to do it, I was just plain seriously scared about falling on my face and being far from worth $5000 for one hour. After all, these wouldn't be college students who were younger than me. These would be older professionals. And another thing, it's almost impossible to make up a talk and get it right on the first try. Anyhow, I just felt that I couldn't take such a big risk when the success of their meeting was on the line, so I humbly declined.
Fear makes our lives smaller, doesn't it? When we say "Pass" instead of "It won't kill me to try," without fail, our lives shrink instead of expanding. Generally we say No for one of two reasons: (1) Lack of experience, and (2) Expectations that seem unrealistically high. But neither reason is a good reason to say No. Push through your fears and keep expanding your comfort zone.
In the three situations described above I was very fortunate. In reality, I had friends who gave me encouragement and who expressed a strong belief in my ability to succeed despite my perceived obstacles. Granted, I reached out to them and expressed my fears, but without their strong support, I would have passed on the opportunities as the stories led you to believe. Instead, I pushed through my fears and said Yes to each of the adventures. And these were the actual outcomes:
I flew to Chicago and filmed the tape with Kenny - no script - I was scared right up until he pressed the power on button, yet the video tape turned out awesome.
I took the Hard Copy assignment at the Mall of America and although I was scared right up until the crew aimed the camera at me and said, "Do your thing," the segment turned out so good that I was signed to do six more segments.
I accepted the invitation to keynote at the sales meeting, and I practiced constantly for a month prior. Although everyone in the sales force was older than me, I did well and the company gave me an incredible letter of recommendation.
The moral of my stories? "I get by with a little help from my friends," as the Beatles so aptly put it. And, the universally applicable lesson: When you push through your fears, time and time again, you realize that fear stands for F.alse E.xpectations A.ppearing to be R.eal. Fear is a daunting illusion that almost always crumbles when put to the test. Just Do It: Let's Get Off Our Buts authors Jon Rogers and Peter McWilliams call Fear for what it really is, "It is one of the great jokes of existence. Courageously journey to the center of your fear and you'll find nothing - just fear being afraid of itself."
Until next week, be great |
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"Bite off more than you can chew, then chew like hell."
-Peter Brock
"If you are not afraid to face the music, you may someday lead the band."
-Spuk Tiding
"Life's journey is like a walk down a long hallway with a cup of coffee in your hand. You can spill some and make a mess and still have a cup that's plenty full."
-Merry Wheaton
"There are people who prefer to say 'Yes' and people who prefer to say 'No.' Those who say Yes are rewarded by the adventures they have, and those who say No are rewarded by the safety they attain,"
-Keith Johnstone in his book Impro. |
